Thursday, July 3, 2008

Sonics Officially Ripped Away from Seattle, and Nobody Seems to Care

Sonics fans watch as their collective puppy is run over by a semi.

The Saga in Seattle is over, and the Kevin Durants (a temporary name, I would assume) are on their way to Oklahoma. The city of Seattle and the franchise which once called it home reached a deal yesterday, ending an era in a great basketball city.

The owners, led by that evil [expletive] Clay Bennett, will pay Seattle $45 million to get out of their lease. If Seattle builds a new arena, and a team doesn't move in by 2013, the owners, led by that evil [expletive] Clay Bennett, will pay Seattle an additional $30 million.

That adds up to $75 million, which, interestingly enough, is more than the $60 million the owners, led by that evil [expletive] Clay Bennett, claimed they would lose if they stayed in the Emerald City.

"The transition and move of this team begins tomorrow morning," Bennett said in Oklahoma City, forgetting relocation began when he bought the Sonics in 2006.

But for all you Sonics fans who are rather depressed, there is good news: the team's moniker, the Sonics, will not be making the move to Oklahoma! Yes?!?

I mean, who cares if you endured years of mediocrity to land one of the best prospects of this decade, Kevin Durant? Who cares if he teased you with his potential, realizing you won't get a chance to see it met? Who cares that, when a new team decides to move to Seattle, you will have to watch your former superstar destroy your crappy new team?

The NBA doesn't care.
They couldn't win the trifecta.


About the Undrafted Free Agent

Ron Crimson was the only player on the high school roster to not get in a game. He couldn't argue with the decision, because he sucked. Needless to say, yet stated anyway, when he entered the NBA draft following his sophomore season in college, he went undrafted. Now, Ron Crimson is the Undrafted Free Agent.

Contact the Undrafted Free Agent

Interested in informing the Undrafted Free Agent of his mistakes, advertisement opportunities, or a scoop on the latest sports scandal? (You can guess which is more likely.) Well, email him at undraftedfreeagent [at]

Look at This!

There's nothing here; I just needed to fill some space. Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! I also needed to balance it out a bit.

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