Tuesday, July 1, 2008

10 Biggest Little Napoleon Complexes in Sports

In the sports world, which is dominated by size, there are bound to be a few figures lacking such girth. Just look at Nate Robinson. But which ten sports figures have the biggest little Napoleon complexes? Here's the list!

10. Daniel Snyder
Dan Snyder is a little guy who made it big, made big bucks, and now owns the Washington Redskins. He spends like he has something to prove, always pursuing big-named free agents and high-priced coaches. Who cares if he needs five body guards to follow his every move?

9. Jon Gruden
Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden is intense and, at times, "verbally abusive" towards his players (and quarterbacks). How does Lincoln Kennedy, who played under Gruden in Oakland, view his former coach? "I'm 6-foot-7 and he's 5-foot-nothing. He's got the little scrunched up face, he takes shots at you ... to me, it's funny. It's hilarious when a little guy wants to rule the world," Kennedy said.
8. Juan Pablo Montoya
Listed at 5-foot-6, 159-pounds, NASCAR' racer Juan Pablo Montoya is a wee height-challenged man. He ignores that fact and gets feisty when a large camera man pops out of nowhere.

Thankfully, he is small and easily restrained by his wife.

7. Tom Cruise
No list of little guys who think too highly of themselves and their self-worth can be complete without Tom Cruise. If you need a sports connection, look at his roles. He played a sports agent and a race car driver.
6. Danica Patrick
The video says it all.

What is with racers?

5. Eddie Gaedel
Standing in at 3-foot-4, Eddie Gaedel is famous for being the shortest player in MLB history. But here's a little known fact: he had a temper. When he was walked on four straight pitches, the opposing second baseman laughed as Gaedel strolled down to first. The very next pitch, a double play ball was hit to the shortstop. Gaedel spiked the second baseman, breaking up the double play.
If you believe that, oh boy, do I have a deal for you!

4. T.J. Ford
T.J. Ford is 5-foot-11, 160 pounds, and susceptible to injury. But when he's mad, three grown men are needed to hold him back.

If I was referee Mark Davis, I would make it a priority to cherish everyday, knowing I came so close to death at the hands of "Feisty" T.J. Ford.

3. David Stern
David Stern is one of the more effective commissioners in professional sports (there isn't much competition, remember) ; the NBA is as profitable as ever. That being said, at some point (around the time Ron Artest flipped out), Stern became power-crazed and decided that the NBA was his league. He rules over the league like a tyrant, handing out suspensions for minor scuffles or making controlling new policies. How was absolute power placed in the hands of this diminutive man?

In other news, David Stern and his pal Clay Bennett have successfully killed basketball in Seattle after years of trying.

2. Ed Wade
Hey, did you hear former Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon grabbed GM Ed Wade by the neck and threw him to the ground!?!?? While Chacon was wrong, Wade does have a history of a Napoleonic history. According to Randy Miller, stories of Wade's tantrums were shared by players and team employees alike. In 2005, Wade became upset in a meeting and threw a chair in Charlie Manuel's office, breaking two of its legs. As for the Chacon incident, he escalated the situation when he lost his temper and cursed at the pitcher. The reason for Wade's anger? Chacon failed to respect his supreme authority by ignoring his request for a meeting. Wade seems to forget that he is this guy:
1. Nate Robinson
Has anyone ever fit the Napoleon complex bill better than Nate Robinson? At 5-foot-9, he is plenty short enough, especially compared to other NBA players. In the overcompensation department, "Nate the Great" always tries to act tough in an attempt to mask his height. He picked a fight with J.R. Smith, quarreled with fellow Knick Zach Randolph, fought with a naked Malik Rose in the shower, and went after Jerome James with a broom. We get it, Nate. You can fight bigger guys without getting killed!
Did I forget a notable Napoleon complex? Leave a comment! Tell me I'm an idiot!

19 comments:

Sports Tsar July 1, 2008 at 3:15 PM  

does verne troyer count for his role as the toronto maple leafs coach in the love guru?

(im ashamed to indirectly admit i saw it...)

wjbrown3 July 2, 2008 at 2:57 AM  

you forgot Scrappy-Do

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 9:38 AM  

What about Doug Flutie? The man is so deeply in love with himself you want to vomit.

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 10:37 AM  

Wow...leaving Gary Bettman off this list is a huge oversight.

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 11:33 AM  

Whoa!!!! You left off the two biggest Napoleans of all time Mark Cuban and Stefan Crybaby Marbury. Cuban needs no explanation and every team Stefan goes to he destroys because he wants to be number 1. Can you imagine if his ego was kept in check and he stayed in MN with Garnett? The two of them could've had a few rings, but noooo. Mr 5 foot nothing wanted the Jordan treatment and left. His head is so big it has Satellites orbiting it, too bad it's just a gaseous planet filled with hot air.

UndraftedFreeAgent July 3, 2008 at 11:41 AM  

The NHL is out of my sight, thus Gary Bettman isn't on the list.

As for Cuban, I thought about him, but I didn't know if he was small enough. Marbury is just crazy.

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 12:29 PM  

umm...Mugsy Bogues anyone?

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 12:53 PM  

This is a #@$%ed up article. Why get on guys for something they cannot control? That's one reason why I love soccer - average or small guys can dominate, and usually do more than those well over 6 feet. Smarts and guts are not tied to size either.

UndraftedFreeAgent July 3, 2008 at 1:15 PM  

To the anonymous poster directly above me, click on the "Napoleon complex" link in the opening and read the Wikipedia entry. This isn't about short people, it's about short people who feel the need to overcompensate for it (in the cases listed here, by being an ass).

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 1:36 PM  

I can't believe you left the #1 Little (General) Napoleon off the list -- clearly Avery Johnson has to be ranked in the top spot. He's such a control freak that he wouldn't let one of the top all-time PGs run his offense. (And Cuban is way too tall to be on this list)

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 1:36 PM  

Isiah Thomas should have been ranked #1. He destroys franchises (Knicks), leagues (CBA), cheated as a player, sexually harasses female colleagues, pouted off of the court when bested by superior opponents - he's a punk!

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 2:11 PM  

People get angry. When a short person gets angry they are not trying to overcompensate for being short, they are just getting angry. When a fat guy gets angry, do you say he's overcompensating for his weight? Anonymous poster above you is right. This is a list of short people getting angry and then you making fun of them because they're short.

Ross July 3, 2008 at 3:58 PM  

Nate Robinson may have the complex, but he once stuffed Yao Ming. That is sick.

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 5:52 PM  

You are an idiot. Just because Nate the Great sticks up for himself, he has a Napoleon complex? He should get cheers for getting the grill of chronic losers Jerome James and Zach Randolph. I am sure they deserved to get that assed kicked!

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 6:14 PM  

lol, funny column! oh and to the anonymous talking about steph marbury.. yes, he is a team killer, yes he is an idiot.. but, last time i checked, 6'2 205 isnt that small.......

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 8:56 PM  

The guy that thinks this is a F#@^&D article is obviously very short. At 5' 8" myself I can say that.

Anonymous,  July 3, 2008 at 9:40 PM  

Back in the day, Calvin Murphy got into tons of fights and he was only 5' 9". He needs to be on here.

southlandhusky,  July 4, 2008 at 2:11 AM  

Nate robinson deserves his no. 1 ranking. That Gary Coleman looking hothead needs a hug.

BlueWorkhorse July 4, 2008 at 6:20 AM  

Nate Robinson should have never won the dunk contest!! NEVER!

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