Thursday, June 26, 2008

Top 10 Bizarre Baseball Injuries of All-Time

Who knew adjusting a pillow could be so dangerous? Brandon Inge, who "couldn't even make this up," pulled his oblique Monday night after he stretched out to move his pillow. He is expected to miss two weeks.

Baseball has had its fair share of bizarre injuries, and Inge's would just be the latest. Where does it rank against baseball's all-time odd injuries?

Dishonorable Mention: Joel Zumaya
Originally, the Tigers staff believed the inflamation in Joel Zumaya's arm was caused by, I don't know, activities actually related to baseball. Then they found his problems were more consistent with another game, Guitar Hero.

Dishonorable Mention: Adam Eaton
In a way, I feel sorry for former Padres pitcher Adam Eaton. All he wanted to do was watch a movie. But no, those damn plastic wrappers stood between him and his DVD. So Eaton decided to pull out the paring knife. He accidentally stabbed himself in the stomach, leading to an ER visit. I think a smaller knife would have sufficed.


10. Mark Smith
When the air conditioning stopped working, Orioles outfielder Mark Smith decided to do some investigating. That is, if investigation means sticking just means sticking your hand in the air conditioner. Smith hurt his hand in the process.

9. Sammy Sosa
Sammy Sosa, along with Mark McGwire, placed MLB on his back, brining back the fans' interest. How could we have known his back was so weak. Sammy Sosa's back handled that heavy lifting and the first sneeze; it was the second one that brought out the back spasms. Sosa's double-barreled sneezing forced him to miss a game in favor of back treatment.

8. John Smoltz
John Smoltz is among the best pitchers of his generation. Still, he isn't above an odd (and preventable) injury. You see, Smoltz's shirt was wrinkled. Why not iron the thing? That's what Smoltz did, but he forgot to take off the shirt. He scalded himself with the iron.

7. Steve Sparks
Sparks, while playing with the Brewers, attended a motivational speaking seminar hosted. The group ripped phone books in half and blew up hot water bottles. Sparks was motivated to try it himself. He dislocated his shoulder while trying to tear a phone book in half.

6. Bret Barberie
Bret Barberie was a utility player who has two claims to fame: Jillian Barberie (his former wife) and a chili juice injury. Barberie accidentally jubbed the juice in his eyes, causing him to miss one game while playing with the Marlins.

5. Wade Boggs
Wade Boggs was a greater hitter, winning batting titles in the process. It wouldn't have hurt if, even just once, he was have practiced putting on shoes instead of hitting. Boggs once strained his back while slipping on a pair of cowboy boots. The injury kept Boggs out of the lineup for seven games.

4. Kevin Mitchell
Former slugger Kevin Mitchell has a long history with the bizarre injury. On one occasion, Mitchell was placed on the disabled list after apparently straining rib muscles while vomiting. Later, Mitchell was four days late for 1990 spring training when he was hurt eating an overcooked microwaved donut, leading to a root canal.

3. Greg Harris
Eating sunflower seeds is commonplace in a baseball dugout. Former Ranger Greg Harris learned the hard way that the seeds need to be taken seriously. He injured his wrist while flicking sunflower seeds.

2. Marty Cordova
Most baseball players tan naturally by spending many summer hours under the sun. Others choose to get their tan a different way. Not Marty Cordova. A visit to a California tanning salon provided baseball with one of its more bizarre injuries. Marty Cordova burned his face under some tanning lamps. The Orioles outfielder was ordered by doctors to stay out of direct sunlight for a couple of days. I'm sure he didn't get too much heat from his teammates for that.

1. Glenallen Hill
Nightmares can induce emotional and psychological stress. For Blue Jays outfielder Glenallen Hill, bad dreams brought on a more physical pain. Hill fell out of bed and crashed into a glass table while having a nightmare about being covered in spiders. Hill sustained several cuts in the process, leading to baseball's most bizarre injury.

16 comments:

Natty B June 27, 2008 at 10:01 AM  

Great list but isn't Clint Barmes worthy of a mention?

Anonymous,  June 27, 2008 at 10:34 AM  

How about Matt Wise hurting himself with salad tongs

Anonymous,  June 27, 2008 at 11:07 AM  

What about Chris Brown, missed a game due to a broken eyelash!!

Tailgating Dave June 27, 2008 at 12:13 PM  

How about Jeff Kent's broken wrist while washing his mini-monster truck?

Anonymous,  June 27, 2008 at 12:15 PM  

what about jason kendall charging the mound and swallowing his chewing tobacco thus missing the game

Anonymous,  June 27, 2008 at 12:16 PM  

what about jason kendall swallowing his chewing tobacco when he charged the mound, and missing the game because it made him sick

Anonymous,  June 27, 2008 at 12:27 PM  

Here are a few:

Ryan Klesko missed a couple of games because he pulled a muscle picking up his lunch tray.

David Cone missed a start after being bitten on the finger by his mother's Jack Russell terrier.

Henry Cotto punctured his eardrum when Ken Griffey Sr. bumped him while he was cleaning his ear with a Q-Tip.

Dick Allen put his hand through an car headlight when pushing a stalled car.

Tom Glavine broke a rib in 1992 from throwing up bad airline food.

Ken Griffey Jr. missed a game because of a pinched testicle he suffered when his protective cup slipped.

Rickey Henderson missed some games with frostbite... in August.

Bobby Brown missed a game after straining his eyelid by sleeping on it wrong.

Larry Herndon once had to miss a game because of a cut he got on his throwing hand while eating a lobster.

Kevin Mitchell reportedly sustained an injury while eating a cupcake.

When Roger Craig was managing the Giants, he got a cut on his hand via a bra hook.

John June 27, 2008 at 12:46 PM  

Or perhaps Jeff "redneck for life" Kent

Motorcycles, wheelies and just plain idiocy do not mix.

He is lucky he has enough talent to hit a baseball.

Anonymous,  June 27, 2008 at 1:31 PM  

C'mon, no Vince Coleman rolled up in the tarp machine? That has to be #1

Anonymous,  June 27, 2008 at 2:03 PM  

The Smoltz thing never happened. Excellent list otherwise!

Sam,  June 27, 2008 at 3:57 PM  

I remember Carlos Zambrano supposedly got carpel tunnel syndrome after IMing relatives in Venezuela.

Anonymous,  June 27, 2008 at 5:03 PM  

Let's not forget Moises ("I'm injured again") Alou, who landed on the disabled list after falling off a treadmill.

Mike June 27, 2008 at 7:47 PM  

Can't believe you left off Vince Coleman of the Cardinals. The great base stealer missed the World Series because the tarp that covers the field ran over his leg.

Anonymous,  June 29, 2008 at 4:31 PM  

I love the list. It proves that baseball players are sissies and shouldn't be considered athletes.

wjbrown3 June 29, 2008 at 10:34 PM  

Not certain of the details which is why it didn't make the hungry actor list either BUT Nolan Ryan was once bitten by a coyote or so i have read

Christopher June 30, 2008 at 2:19 PM  

Seriously...Gus Freotte isn't on this list? The idiot rammed his head into a wall after scoring a TD.

About the Undrafted Free Agent

Ron Crimson was the only player on the high school roster to not get in a game. He couldn't argue with the decision, because he sucked. Needless to say, yet stated anyway, when he entered the NBA draft following his sophomore season in college, he went undrafted. Now, Ron Crimson is the Undrafted Free Agent.

Contact the Undrafted Free Agent

Interested in informing the Undrafted Free Agent of his mistakes, advertisement opportunities, or a scoop on the latest sports scandal? (You can guess which is more likely.) Well, email him at undraftedfreeagent [at] gmail.com.

Look at This!

There's nothing here; I just needed to fill some space. Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! I also needed to balance it out a bit.

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