Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Breaking News: Florida Marlins Have a Low Payroll!!!1!

A shocking new report from the Associated Press uncovered some startling information: New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez makes a lot of money. And Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria is cheap; he doesn't pay his players very much. What revelations!

Alex Rodriguez's new salary is the highest in Major League Baseball at $28 million. In comparison, the Opening Day roster and disabled list of the Marlins tops out at $21.8 million.

So, A-Rod, what do you have to say about about this? "The Marlins? It's amazing," Rodriguez said. "And they still seem to find a way to be very competitive. [...] To win two championships in 11 years, that's really admirable, and I'm very proud of that organization, being from Miami."

Since every time baseball salaries are mentioned, people seem to break it down into "per homer" or "per inning." (Any of those stats really.) Why not do the same now? Alex Rodriguez has earned roughly $170 million in his career. That is--refreshing my math rules for dividing by zero-- an undefined amount per World Series win. The Marlins, since their inaugural 1993 season, have paid $470 million to players, or $235 million for each World Series title.

So, to conclude, A-Rod is overpaid and Loria is a cheap jerk business-wise owner.


About the Undrafted Free Agent

Ron Crimson was the only player on the high school roster to not get in a game. He couldn't argue with the decision, because he sucked. Needless to say, yet stated anyway, when he entered the NBA draft following his sophomore season in college, he went undrafted. Now, Ron Crimson is the Undrafted Free Agent.

Contact the Undrafted Free Agent

Interested in informing the Undrafted Free Agent of his mistakes, advertisement opportunities, or a scoop on the latest sports scandal? (You can guess which is more likely.) Well, email him at undraftedfreeagent [at] gmail.com.

Look at This!

There's nothing here; I just needed to fill some space. Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! I also needed to balance it out a bit.

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