Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dikembe Mutombo's Album to Go Platinum?

The "Son of the Congo", Dikembe Mutombo, knows both basketball and humanitarian aid. On the basketball court, he is among the NBA's most prolific shot blockers, winning four Defensive Player of the Year Awards. Mutombo has been recognized for his efforts worldwide, but specifically his work to build the Biamba Marie Mutombo Hospital, the first modern hospital in his native Congo. As a result of his humanitarian work, Mutombo received the President's Service Award, the nation's highest honor for volunteer work, and some awkward praise from President Bush.

There is little more for Mutombo to pursue in his career, outside of proving he is only 41 years old and finding helpless takers to sex him up. Nonetheless, Mutombo has pursued a new career.

Meet Dikembe Mutombo, soon-to-be multi-platinum singer! His vocals are rather throaty, but are charming in a tribal sense.

Titles range from La Bamba, Mrs. Robinson, Da Do Do Do Dah Da Da Da Da (Yes, him blasting those sounds the entire song. Thankfully, the songs are short.), and Nights in White Satin. I think he might have burped his way through Jingle Bells.

My personal favortie: Oh Tannenbaum! Upon listening to this potential hit song, one can understand the need for an exclamation mark to end the previous sentence. Listeners will be greeted with a chorus of screams.

Needless to stay, Mutombo should stick to basketball and humanitarian aid. His music, obviously made for laughs, is not quite as good.


About the Undrafted Free Agent

Ron Crimson was the only player on the high school roster to not get in a game. He couldn't argue with the decision, because he sucked. Needless to say, yet stated anyway, when he entered the NBA draft following his sophomore season in college, he went undrafted. Now, Ron Crimson is the Undrafted Free Agent.

Contact the Undrafted Free Agent

Interested in informing the Undrafted Free Agent of his mistakes, advertisement opportunities, or a scoop on the latest sports scandal? (You can guess which is more likely.) Well, email him at undraftedfreeagent [at] gmail.com.

Look at This!

There's nothing here; I just needed to fill some space. Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! I also needed to balance it out a bit.

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