Friday, June 20, 2008

IM Chat With Ray Allen, Hater of the Big Three Label

The following instant messaging conversation took place following the Celtics' championship win. Ron P. Crimson had no idea Celtics guard Ray Allen took exception to the Big Three nickname. He will find out now. Let's join them as the conversation begins...

Ronniecrimson78: Congratulations on the win, man.
RayRay20celtics: Thanks.
Ronniecrimson78: The title's back where it's supposed to be: Boston!
RayRay20celtics: Haha. You know it.
Ronniecrimson78: I knew the Big Three would bring it home. Big Three FTW!
RayRay20celtics: Well, to be honest, it took every last one of us to win it. Really, we're the Big 15.
Ronniecrimson78: OK. ;-)
RayRay20celtics: What's that supposed to mean?
Ronniecrimson78: Well, I mean... Scalabrine?
RayRay20celtics: Yeah, Scalabrine. He was big, stepping up for us.
Ronniecrimson78: Seriously? Scalabrine?
RayRay20celtics: Yeah, Scalabrine!
Ronniecrimson78: He didn't even suit up!
RayRay20celtics: So? Have you seen him in practice? He can disappear, preparing us for Lamar Odom. Scalabrine was great.
Ronniecrimson78: OK. Whatever. I guess Scalabrine did something, but the Big Three still won the thing for Boston!
RayRay20celtics: OK, for the last time, stop calling us the Big Three! We are more than three players. I told you, there are fifteen players on the championship-winning Boston Celtics. Drop the entire Big Three thing!
Ronniecrimson78: How about the Three Amigos?
RayRay20celtics: Stop!
Ronniecrimson78: The Three Basketeers?
RayRay20celtics: Shut up!
Ronniecrimson78: Parquet Posse?
RayRay20celtics: Well, if it's referring to...
Ronniecrimson78: The Boston Three Party!
RayRay20celtics: We are a team! Any time there was that label, whether it was on TV, in a newspaper or we saw it traveling to another city, we just did our best to downplay it. We wouldn't have won with just Kevin, Paul, and me! So start saying the Celtics won! The media, people on Sportscenter, and fans are just masking the team's achievements by crediting the Big Three for the win. We're tired of it!
Ronniecrimson78: Um, isn't that kind of hypocritical or at least irresponsible?
RayRay20celtics: (Pause in typing) How so?
Ronniecrimson78: I mean, the Big Three was more than a media creation. You, Garnett, and Pierce embraced the label. You guys went out and did interviews as a trio. Hell, you did multiple ESPN commercials. In one, you decide on new nicknames for the Big Three. How can you complain now about the media and fans saying the Big Three won it or other stuff like that when eight months ago, you reveled in it?
RayRay20celtics: (Pause in typing) I don't get what you're trying to say.
Ronniecrimson78: OK. Look at Paris Hilton. She would go out of her way to be photographed by the paparazzi. They were key in making her into a celebrity even though she has done nothing to deserve it. How can she then complain about them, the people that she embraced to help make her famous?
RayRay20celtics: Well, Paris Hilton is stupid. I got to go.
Ronniecrimson78: Wait!
RayRay20celtics: What?
Ronniecrimson78: Is this actually Ray Allen?
RayRay20celtics: Nope.
Ronniecrimson78: Figures.
RayRay20celtics: Bye.

WARNING: Scrolling past this point may cause trauma!

Boston's Championship X-Factor

Lamar Odom Ain't This Darn Intimidating



Sports Tsar June 21, 2008 at 5:46 PM  

ughhh... the humane thing to do would've been to give a disclaimer prior to that scalabrine valentine's pic


About the Undrafted Free Agent

Ron Crimson was the only player on the high school roster to not get in a game. He couldn't argue with the decision, because he sucked. Needless to say, yet stated anyway, when he entered the NBA draft following his sophomore season in college, he went undrafted. Now, Ron Crimson is the Undrafted Free Agent.

Contact the Undrafted Free Agent

Interested in informing the Undrafted Free Agent of his mistakes, advertisement opportunities, or a scoop on the latest sports scandal? (You can guess which is more likely.) Well, email him at undraftedfreeagent [at]

Look at This!

There's nothing here; I just needed to fill some space. Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! Space eater! I also needed to balance it out a bit.

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